By Sarah Myers
Do you ever feel like you and your child are growing apart? Does having a conversation with your child feel like you’re talking with a stranger? Believe me when I say, this is only a phase and it gets better; I speak from experience. One of the hardest moments in the relationship of a parent and child is when your child begins the awkward transition into adulthood. Around the time I attended middle school, my mother sat me down one day and said, “There’s going to come a time when you hate me, but know that I will always love you. I’m here for you and these feelings will not last.” From that moment forward, whenever a time came that I was so angry with either of my parents that the phrase “I hate you!” popped into my head, my mother’s words always resonated within me. While every family has its obstacles, it never helps when your kids throw up a wall to block you out. A large part of this stems from a lack of proper communication. Growing up, I can admit I was no different, but from those confrontations I grew wiser. The following advice is from the perspective of my mother and myself. Out of both of my parents, she was more often on the receiving end of my attitude.
• Acronyms are a big part of the teenage culture. If you don’t know what OMG, JK, or LOL mean, Google them.
• They say communication is key, but we won’t talk unless it’s important. Forcing us to tell you about how school was will get you the same answer every time. It will always just be “good.” If you want us to open up, you’ll have to be patient.
• Your job as a parent is to teach your children all that you can so that when they’re older and living their own lives, they can count on lessons they learned from you to help them make the right decisions.
• While your kids may hate chores, part-time jobs or family meetings now; later they will come to appreciate the experience it gave them.
• Remember, there will be attitude. Anticipate it and learn to live with it.
• At the end of it all, everything you do or have ever done has been to benefit your children. This stage of their lives is no different, and the way you interact will directly impact the type of adult they will become.
This is only a guideline. Every relationship is different. What’s truly important is making sure that through all the anger, frustration and attitude (which, trust me, there will be plenty), your kids know that you love them.